Published:
October 19, 2007

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Fics by shinchansgirl

Horse!Rodeny fic by shinchansgirl

Fandom: Stargate: Atlantis
Pairings: none
Rating: PG

NOTE: No more forthcoming, unless you really want it.  I had planned it for Drabble Days, and then...well, I forgot about Drabble Days, cause I got really busy, and well, I'm really sorry.  ^^;

Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.  ~Arthur Eddington

 

---

Rodney had known that he wasn't supposed to touch the funny little ancient device.  It'd looked so innocent, with its one small animal-like symbol and nothing else, but it had somehow felt wrong, and so he'd left it.  He hadn't even moved it into the 'Do Not Touch!' box.

Thunk.  Whish.

Then again, that was probably what had led to this problem in the first place.

Ok, so he might have panicked a bit when one of the assistants - he couldn't remember her name, Smith maybe?  no, too military - had picked it up, even though he knew that she didn't have the gene.  So he'd rushed to take it from her and put it safely back.

Which, really, wasn't the smartest thing he'd ever done.

ThuNK. Cla-thUNK.  Shh.

He used his teeth to grab a hold of the girl's uniform jacket - not her arm, he made certain, because who knew what biting down on skin would do - and started dragging her towards the nearest transporter to take them to the 'gate room.

Of course, who knew whether or not the body of a horse would fit into a transporter or not.  He hadn't really wanted to try the experiment, but it looked like it found him anyways.

Thunk.  Thunk.  Thunk.

Rodney so hated the sound of hooves on metal floors.  Almost as much as he hated horses.  He was probably allergic.

---

John almost laughed as Lisa Freeman - a new scientist on Rodney's crew, and a cute little brunette as well, if a bit on the under-developed side - was dragged into the Gate Room by a horse.  He had to admit that it was a beautiful animal, a rich chestnut color with black stockings and a thick black mane and tail to go with a well-muscled (if a bit pudgy) girth.  Not one of the big war horses in the good action movies, but more Lord-of-the-Rings like. 

Of course, admiring it didn't explain what it was doing in the middle of Atlantis' Gate Room.

"Is there a reason there's a horse in the middle of Gate Control?" he asked.

The girl's jaw worked for a few moments, going up and down like a fish, before she sputtered out: "It's Rodney!"

"Oh.  Well.  That explains it," John said, smiling a bit.  It was just like Rodney to get mixed up in things and, well, get mixed up.  "Tell him he can't keep it."

The horse snorted, dropping the girl's arm, and stomped it's foot - loudly.

Just before pushing forward to nudge John in the chest.

"Easy there, buddy - I'm not that much of a horse guy."

"Sir?" Lisa spoke up, her voice timid.

"I don't care what Rodney thinks he needs a horse for, we can't keep animals in Atlantis.  I already asked Elizabeth, and she wouldn't even let me have a dog."

The horse snorted.

"Not a big one!  Just, you know, one of those Akitas, maybe, or a Retriever.  A Lab would have been nice."

The horse shook his head, and then nudged John in the chest again.

"Stop that," John complained.

"Sir...I...well...meant....the horse...he is Rodney."

"Oh."

Well.  That complicated things a bit.

---

"Colonel," Elizabeth's voice was sharp, and disapproving, "would you like to explain why there is a horse in the briefing room?"

"He's Rodney," John answered with a smile.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.

"Somehow, he turned himself into a horse," John said, looking a bit sheepish.  "I've already radioed Radek, Carson, and Freeman said she'd get the head zoologist and biologist up here in time."  The horse snorted.

"Well, this is certainly unusual," Elizabeth said, taking her seat.  The horse went over to John and nudged him in the chest - just as he had earlier.

"Hey," John complained.  "Take it easy.  It's not my fault you're - well, yeah."

"He's probably hungry," a new voice said.  John recognized him as one of the doctors that had holed up in one of the smaller labs - he thought he went out with Gate Team Seven or Eight, but he wasn't quite sure.  "If Freeman was right about the time, he'll be looking for food soon.  He might be smelling something on you.  Here."  The man held out an apple.  "I picked it up on the way."

Rodney ate it in about two bites.

"Horses need to eat more than people do - more body to supply for," the doctor said.  Someone else came in behind him and immediately went towards the horse with wide eyes.  Rodney shied away.  "Considering the immediate nature of the change, and the average need to eat for the horse, he will need to eat even more than we normally associate with him.  We need to be careful, however - eating too fast or too much will make him colic."

"Colic?" Elizabeth asked.

It was the new scientist - a girl - who spoke up.  "It's sort of like the human heart burn or acid reflex, with the need to throw up added in.  The problem - and why it's so dangerous - is that a horse can't throw up.  We will have to be careful what we feed it.  Where'd it-" she took a quick glance and corrected herself "-he come from?"

John felt embarrassed for Rodney.  He hadn't even considered that there might be privacy issues.

"Why don't we get everyone here first," Elizabeth said.  "Then we can hash out the details."

THE END.

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